With no intention to victim-blame, and with recognition that only those individuals who commit sexual misconduct are responsible for these actions, the suggestions below are provided to assist in reducing a student’s risk of experiencing a non-consensual sex act.
- If you have sexual limits, make them known as early as possible
- Tell a sexual aggressor “NO” clearly and firmly
- Try to remove yourself from the physical presence of a sexual aggressor
- Find someone nearby and ask for help
- Take affirmative responsibility for your alcohol intake/drug use and acknowledge that alcohol and drugs lower your sexual inhibitions and may make you vulnerable to someone who views someone under the influence as a sexual opportunity
- Take care of your friends and ask that they take care of you.
If you find yourself in the position of being the initiator of sexual behavior, you owe sexual respect to your potential partner. These suggestions may help you to reduce your risk for being accused of sexual misconduct.
- Clearly communicate your intentions to your sexual partner and give them a chance to clearly relate their intentions to you
- Understand and respect personal boundaries
- Don’t make assumptions about: consent; about someone’s sexual availability; about whether they are attracted to you; about how far you can go or about whether they are physically and/or mentally able to consent. If there are any questions or ambiguity then you DO NOT have consent.
- Mixed messages from your partner are a clear indication that you should stop, defuse any sexual tension, and communicate. You may be misreading your partner. You must respect all timelines and boundaries for that your partner has.
- Don’t take advantage of someone’s drunkness or drugged state, even if they did it to themselves
- Realize that your potential partner could be intimidated by you, or fearful. You may have a power advantage simply because of your gender or size. Don’t abuse that power.
- Understand that consent to some form of sexual behavior does not automatically imply consent to any other forms of sexual behavior.
- Silence and passivity cannot be interpreted as an indication of consent. Read your potential partner carefully, paying attention to verbal and non-verbal communication and body language.
Resources for risk reduction and healthy relationships:
New York State Office of Prevention of Domestic Violence : http://respectlove.opdv.ny.gov
New York State Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.942.6906 (English); 1.800.942.6908 (Spanish)
New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault: 1.518.434.1580 (Information hotline)